Amazing Grace

“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me”

Hearing this song, as a kid, I didn’t like this song.

In fact, I’d always say to myself, “I’m not a wretch… I like everything else in this song but just… not that word.”

I listened to this song 2 weeks ago and realized, why I didn’t like it.

I was a wretch and I just didn’t understand it yet.

I, then, began to really understand the song.

“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me,

I, once, was lost,

But, now,

Am found,

Was blind,

But, now,

I see.”

For quite some time, now, I have beat myself up and have let others walk all over me.

I have let others cloud my judgement and cloud my values.

I’ve silenced my voice because I didn’t think I even had a voice.

If it weren’t for God’s Glorious Grace, I would continue having nightmares.

For the longest time, I had this recurring nightmare. Different scenarios, but same message.

My nightmares would consist of being attacked or my family or friends being attacked and no matter how loud I would scream, nothing would come out.

I haven’t had this nightmare for quite a while now, and I don’t think I will because I am beginning to find my voice.

And that’s enough for me.

I may not have the clearest, loudest voice just yet, but I have a voice and I am no longer afraid of using it.

Although I have overcome these challenges, recently, a new challenge has presented itself to me.

I’m not at a point to speak further because I’m still learning what this lesson is supposed to teach me, but in the midst of this lesson, I am finding myself having to fight everyday to keep my motivation alive.

In 24 years of being on this Earth, I have gone through a chain of misfortunes and tribulations and it seems as though every time I thought I had overcome one thing, here came another.

However, I am thankful for each barrier because in due time, they always present themselves as blessings.

Through each trial I faced, I became stronger through God’s unfailing faith in me.

I used to think that I just had a crazy amount of willpower, but willpower didn’t save me from a near-death experience…God did.

So, if you were to ask me the difference between my trials then and my trials now, my answer would be this:

I knew of God, then, but it is only, now, that I know.

So with the awareness of God’s Grace upon my life, any trial I am currently facing or will face, will have to take it up with My Loving Father, because truth be told, my willpower has burned out and I believe it’s time to let Jesus take the wheel.

One thought on “Amazing Grace

  1. Well said, Baby. You’ve always been good at listening – you your teachers were telling me before. So, use that skill to listen more to the Holy Spirit who is within you.
    He will give you the wisdom to know the Father’s will more intimately.

    Like

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