“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”Brené Brown
Noise in the world is, now, echoing through the internet and into our lives.
The noise was already there to begin with but became harder to ignore.
The question is, what do we do once we can no longer ignore the noise?
What kind of noise is it?
Is it the loud noise of discrimination? The loud noise of rising cases and deaths of the ongoing pandemic? The noise of politics?
Or is the quiet, heart wrenching, noise of comparison, resentment, or loneliness?
When we scroll on social media, are we able to separate ourselves from what we see?
In complete and utter honesty, I wasn’t.
I couldn’t do that, so I took a break from social media.
Truthfully, I would still go on from time to time which lead me to ask myself,
“Kat, why do I feel like I need to be on this app?”
The answer was so simple, yet so hard to admit to.
I felt uncomfortable sitting alone with my thoughts and feelings.
My social media pages are filled with encouragement and fun times, but it all became empty to me because with each post I made, it became more and more about the way I wanted others to see me rather than who I really am.
And it became very lonely.
Although what I have put out has been honest and intentional, it’s still not the fullest extent of what I want and feel I have to offer.
I let the smallest public successes on the internet go to my head and then, the biggest private disappointments in real life get to my heart.
My struggle with perfectionism was emphasized and challenged this year both professionally and spiritually.
I had to learn to acknowledge the consequences of perfectionism and accept my inequities.
I had to let go of the perception I wanted others to have of me and discover who I truly am.
Though the journey has just begun, my heart feels a lot more whole than it was at the beginning of this year.
I took each month, each day, each HOUR (on some days) in stride.
I learned how to be patient and kind with myself.
I learned how to cope with my negative thoughts and feelings and turn them into thoughts of encouragement and empowerment.
I learned that authenticity doesn’t just show up after you’ve overcome your obstacles, but it shows up right in the middle of them.
A writer named James Lane Allen once said,
“Adversity doesn’t build character, it reveals it.”
So how do we be ourselves, flaws, and all, in a world full of noise and images of who we think we should be?
Well, I think we should stop thinking we should be something and just be.